"What do you think?"

4 Magic Words to Help You Stop Collecting Monkeys!

During my recent trip to HYD, this topic of monkeys came up, which reminds me of a common challenge faced by newer leaders I coach. They often express feeling overwhelmed – like they're constantly solving problems for their teams, instead of guiding their teams to solve problems with them. They quickly find their days consumed by an endless stream of questions and issues, big and small, that somehow all land squarely on their plate.

And of course, the monkeys story is that all-time classic HBR article, "Management Time: Who's Got the Monkey?" – you know, the one that perfectly describes how easy it is for managers to end up with everyone else's "monkeys" happily perched on their own back.

Now here's one leadership secret that I share early on with these developing leaders: there's a remarkably simple phrase, just four words, that can fundamentally shift this dynamic. It’s a technique that helps ensure the "monkey" stays with its rightful owner, empowering their team members and, frankly, freeing the manager up to focus on higher-level leadership.

"What do you think?"

The guiding principle I try to instill is this:

Stop owning every 'monkey.' Coaching your team members to think for themselves by consistently asking 'What do you think?' is the simplest path to their empowerment, effective delegation, and ultimately, stronger team performance.

The Go-To Approach I Recommend for Empowering Their Teams

So, when a team member brings a situation, a problem, or even just a tricky question to one of the leaders I’m coaching, the first step I advise is always active listening – to make sure they fully understand the context. But the immediate follow-up I encourage them to make a cornerstone of their approach is: "Okay, I understand the situation. So, what do you think we (or you) should do?"

I stress to them that this isn't about deflecting responsibility or making their team member feel unsupported. Not at all. It’s about empowering that individual to own the problem-solving and decision-making process right from the very start. The way their team member responds to that question is incredibly revealing and tells the manager a lot:

• Do they have a well-thought-out point of view? If they come back with a reasoned suggestion, that’s a great sign! If they hesitate or seem unsure, it’s an opportunity for the manager to dig a bit. It could indicate they haven't explored the problem deeply enough yet, or perhaps they aren't as engaged in finding a solution as they could be. Neither is ideal, and this simple question brings it to the surface.

• It allows the manager to quickly assess their team member's grasp of the challenge. How well do they understand the nuances? How thorough has their thinking been before bringing it to their manager?

Naturally - Empowerment Drives Better Decisions

When managers consistently make "What do you think?" a part of their interaction style, it has a cascade of positive effects on their teams:

• Fosters Real Ownership & Accountability: When team members are expected to come with potential solutions, not just problems, they become far more invested in the outcome. That "monkey" is clearly theirs to manage, with their manager providing support and guidance, not taking over the reins.

• Develops Critical Thinking & Problem-Solving Muscles: If team members know their manager is going to ask for their take, they start to anticipate it. They begin to analyze issues more thoroughly and formulate potential solutions before even escalating. It’s like on-the-job training in critical thinking with every interaction. Don't get me wrong, I'm talking about mindset here.

• Leads to More Robust, Innovative Solutions: Let's be honest, those closest to the work often have incredible insights and perspectives that a manager, one step removed, might miss. By asking for their ideas, managers tap into this diverse pool of knowledge, often leading to more creative and effective decisions than if they’d just dictated from above. Dear leaders, please do not be the smartest person in the room in front of your teams and make sure they know it.

• Improves Decision Velocity & Team Agility: Empowered teams, the ones trusted to think for themselves and bring forward solutions, can often make good decisions faster. They aren't stuck waiting for their manager's directive on every little thing, which means fewer bottlenecks and more forward momentum. If you're worry about things go too far, set up good guardrails, but make sure you trust your team and verify is okay!

Change the Dynamic - Shifting from Chief Problem-Solver to Enabler & Coach

So, if the manager is coaching their team to bring solutions, what does their role become? It shifts significantly. I advise them to move from being the chief problem-solver (and, no, this is not a contradiction of first principle problem solving) to becoming an assessor, a coach, and an enabler of their team's problem-solving capabilities.

Their job, when presented with a team member's proposed approach, is to listen intently and understand the reasoning. Not to immediately jump in with their own solution or judgment, but to think: "How can I best support this person in succeeding with their idea, or guide them to an even better one?"

If the team member's recommendation aligns with the broader goals and seems sound, the manager's response might be, "That sounds like a solid plan. What support do you need from me (or what roadblocks can I help remove) to make it happen?"

If the manager sees things differently, or if the proposal has potential gaps, their follow-up shouldn't be to dictate an alternative. Instead, I coach them to ask clarifying, guiding questions: "That’s an interesting approach. Have you considered what might happen if X occurs?" or "What are the potential risks you see with that path, and how could we think about mitigating them?"

Sometimes, I even suggest they gently employ a '5 Whys' technique here by asking 'Why do you think that is?' or 'Why would that be the best next step?' to help the team member explore the root assumptions and refine their own thinking. This helps them arrive at a stronger solution, one they own even more deeply because they helped shape it.

This kind of dialogue is also a fantastic, almost real-time "temperature test" (Yes, I do use this term a lot, before anyone points it out) for the manager to gauge their team member's confidence and understanding on a particular topic. It helps identify where more specific coaching, additional support, or perhaps more resources might be needed.

It Works When "Managing" AI Too!

(Yes, it's not my article without mentioning the AI piece!)

Here’s a fascinating extension of this idea that I also share with the team, especially in our current AI-driven landscape: this empowering question isn't just limited to human interactions. In this new age of powerful LLMs and AI tools, I encourage them to think of themselves as the "manager" of their AI tools.

Instead of just firing off a prompt at an AI and hoping for the best, try engaging it with questions that prompt deeper "thinking" and more nuanced output:

• "Based on this initial prompt, what are a few potential approaches you'd recommend for generating this content, and what are the pros/cons of each?"

• "What are the key assumptions you're making in providing that answer?"

• "How confident are you in that solution on a scale of 1-10, and what are its primary limitations or areas where it might be less accurate?"

By coaching the team to ask their AI "What do you think?" (in its own computational way, of course!), they can encourage more robust outputs, help uncover potential biases or gaps in its understanding, and ultimately guide it towards better, more reliable results. They're effectively coaching their AI towards a better "decision" or output.

Stop Collecting Monkeys, Start Building Leaders (and Better AI Partners!)

Ultimately, the advice I give to leaders, especially those newer to the role, is that consistently asking "What do you think?" is about a fundamental shift. It’s about moving from a directive style to a developmental one; from collecting all the "monkeys" onto their own back, to coaching and empowering their team members to manage their own. It’s how they stop being the bottleneck and start developing genuine problem-solvers, critical thinkers, and the next generation of leaders.

As a reward - it leads to a more capable, engaged, and accountable team. Better, faster decisions. And yes, even more effective and insightful interactions with their AI tools. It all starts with those four magic words.

So, to all the managers and leaders out there, seasoned or just starting: how do you use inquiry to empower your teams, sharpen their thinking, or even guide your tools? I’d love to hear your experiences and best practices!

Now - What do YOU think?

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